She's Got~~Personality...

 She’s Got …Personality:

 I think my favorite teaching memories come from the two short years in the early 90s when I taught at a Christian school in Arlington, TX.  There were four of us teachers who were affectionately known as the FOUR Musketeers. We were the 3^rd, 4^th, 5^th, and 6^th grade teachers. We had a special bond and often wondered what brought that on, as we were all four so different in personality and style.

I specifically remember one year when the teachers actually were able to stay at the hotel during our annual teacher’s conference! (One of the disadvantages of the big city is not getting to GO to a conference!) We had attended a session by the keynote speaker on teaching to different personality types. He had shared his four personality types, and we bought the book. It was absolutely uncanny how exactly each one of us fit into one of those four types-all the way down to our favorite colors. We stayed up well past midnight laughing and contemplating the now -known reason behind our different ways of approaching life.

Experts disagree on the usefulness of personality labels. Those in favor feel that a better understanding of what makes a person tick will aid others in dealing with them more effectively. Others see the danger of depending on a label to excuse attitudes and actions. Personally, I tend to agree with the second group. Too often we rely on that label as an excuse for our weaknesses or as a crutch to hold up our strengths.

It is not my purpose, therefore, to create a check list for you to determine where you stand. I do not want anyone to walk away saying, “I am a Martha, therefore don’t expect me to do…”, or the opposite, “I am a Mary, so don’t expect me to do….” Nor is it my purpose to pit one against the other.  One is not better than the other. I don’t want anyone to think ‘bad guy-good guy’ one way or the other.  As we shall see, it really does take both to get the job done. 

A QUICK LOOK AT ROMANS 12

Last time I did mention the Spiritual gifts mentioned in Romans 12. While it is true that God does give us particular gifts for ministry, He by no means meant to limit us to a particular type of ministry.  Verses 6-8 do discuss HOW we should do our specific ministries, but as we look at verses 3-5, Paul reminds us of the importance of our attitude toward the gifts that God so graciously bestows upon us. For one thing, he is quick to point out the danger of pride. He also makes it a point to emphasize that the use of our spiritual gifts is not dependent on how we may feel (I just don’t feel like getting involved in that area right now), nor is it dependent on what we may enjoy. Paul reminds us that our gifts are dependent on the Holy Spirit-and scripture promises us that He will never lay at our feet more than we can handle. Then, in verses 9-13 we see ministry commands that involve ALL of us equally. Paul is no longer specifying particular gifts, but speaks to general expectations of all service or ministry. Love, honor, joy, and, yes, hospitality are to be the natural outflow of whatever specific ministry in which God places us. Please note, however, that before you stress over how you will be able to handle it all-- remember YOU are not expected to handle it all. WE are the body of Christ and each one of us must do our own part (See I Corinthians 12). We will look more at this joint effort as we continue this ‘saga.’

SO JUST WHO IS MARHTA AND WHO IS MARY??

As I consider Martha’s actions in Luke 10:38-41, I see the creative type who likes to DO. She likes to plan and organize the showers, receptions, and ladies’ activities.  She loves to decorate for these events. The fancier and ‘classier’ the better.  You know, when you walk in for a shower or reception and say, “WOW! How lovely!” or “How cute!”   She makes sure every detail is perfect and everything is just right! BUT, she hates coming up with the devotion! Not that she fails see its importance; it is just difficult for her to put one of those together. She will share her creativity and style, but not her feelings. She is often so busy DOING, that she tends to overlook BEING.  Joanna Weaver, in her book, HAVING A MARY HEART IN A MARTHA WORLD, describes Martha as being “a bit overdriven.” 

Mary, on the other hand was perfectly content with the situation as it was. Jesus was visiting their home-what a wonderful opportunity. Let’s make him comfortable and allow him to relax. She wasn’t going to miss out on a thing by cumbering around trying to make things elaborately perfect. Weaver’s one word for Mary is “contemplative.” 

I like the following description from Mrs. Weaver’s book: “Mary’s bent was to meander through life, pausing to smell the roses, Martha was more likely to pick the roses, quickly cut the stems at an angle, and arrange them in a vase with baby’s breath and ferns.”  I bet you can see where you stand after that description!

As mentioned earlier,the trouble with relying on these labels is the temptation to determine which is right and which is wrong. This struggle brings about a sinful attitude of its own. We tend to start comparing ourselves with each other.  In one way, we think of ourselves more highly than we ought and consider that our particular Mary or Martha trait makes for a better person—or, like me, we tend to feel guilty that we aren’t more like the other one. One is not right, nor is the other bad. Both have their own set of strengths and weaknesses, and as Joanna states, “its glories and temptations.”  I like that! Both have the potential of glorying God and furthering the cause of Christ, yet both also have the potential of falling into sinful heart attitudes.

I am a Mary. Believe me, when I DO an event it does not bring the Ew’s and Ah’s of a Martha event. I stress over this greatly and feel so inadequate because it is not decorated or organized as nicely as it would have been if Sister Suzie had done it. BUT, I am proud of my devotion and feel I ‘did a good one’. The problem is that both my insecurities and pride stem from a ‘fear of man’ attitude.

Marthas may be proud of their ‘baby’ and wish they could present a ‘better’ devotion. Once again, those sinful attitudes of pride and impressing others –“fear of man” raise their ugly heads.

"...AS UNTO THE LORD"

Colossians 3:23 says “In whatsoever you do, do it heartily, as unto the Lord.” When Marthas put excessive amounts of time, effort, and stress into making everything just right in an effort to please others, they are not doing it ‘as unto the Lord.” When Marys refuse to organize an event because it won’t be as nice as it would be if Sister Suzie did, they are not doing it “as unto the Lord.”

“Nice” is important. Excellence is important to God.  God gave His best, of course, we should do our best. But just because my best is different than Sister Suzie’s best, doesn’t mean my best is bad. The issue Martha struggles with in the Luke 12 passage is that she was doing her Martha stuff at the wrong time and with the wrong attitude. We will look more into the details of this part of the encounter next time.

You see, the trouble with using Mary/Martha labels and excuses is that they limit one’s attitude toward ministry.  There is a time and a place for both. Striking the proper balance between the two should be our goal.

 By the way, I know of a godly young woman who (in my opinion) is the perfect example of balancing both. I am not going to mention her name, but those of you who know her will heartily agree. She is a missionary, wife, and mother of three in Brazil...she handles both beautifully!

SEE YOU NEXT TIME!!