Lower the Red Flag!

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord” Colossians 3:18.

Last week we discussed how this verse raises the red-flag of controversy in the hearts and minds of many women (and men, for that matter!) in today’s culture.

Over the next few weeks, we will look at this verse in light of the distinction of roles in God’s plan for our lives and the family. But first, with the help of authors Nancy Cobb and Connie Grigsby (The Politically INCORRECT Wife), Nancy Leigh DeMoss (Lies Women Believe), and Elyse Fitzpatrick (helper by design-God’s Perfect Plan for Women in Marriage), I would like to ease some fears and point out what this verse is NOT saying. [Please note that I will also be referring to these books throughout the next few entries about this topic].

SUBMISSION DOES NOT MEAN:

1.       …a sign of inferiority or insignificance-Genesis 1:27 teaches that both male and female were created in the image of God~equally. Passages such as Galatians 3:28 and 1 Peter 3:7 teach that God’s grace and salvation is offered to everyone (male and female)~ equally. Even in our recent study on Colossians 3:1-17 we read in verse 10-11 that there is no distinction as to who we are in Christ. The distinction comes in the roles God has designed for our lives, not in significance and importance.

2.       …we must agree with every suggestion made by our husbands. It does not mean that we cannot express our opinions or provide input regarding family decisions. As we shall see in weeks to come, our role as helpmeet encourages that interaction.  Please note, however, that is the husband’s role to make the final decision. Submission involves accepting that decision graciously.

3.       …we must give into every demand of our husband. The husband’s God-given role of authority is not unlimited in nature. Our ultimate authority is God Himself. Just as Peter stated in Acts 5:29, ‘we ought to obey God rather than man’. If a demand or request goes against God’s teaching, we must graciously and respectfully refuse. 

4.        …we should allow our husbands to take the place of Christ as our objects of worship. Submission does not permit our husbands to become an idol in our lives (Exodus 20:3). Our husbands are to lead and guide us as we worship Christ. Ephesians 5:33 states in some translations that the wife should reverence her husband. This is not teaching that we worship our husbands. It is better translated, that the wife should respect her husband. (Bible Knowledge Commentary)

5.       …the husband has a right to be a dictator or harsh with his wife. Although this series is primarily written to women, and we are focusing on Colossians 3:18 at the moment, it is important that we consider the teaching of verse 19 and Ephesians 5:25ff.

      …only wives are commanded to submit. As we shall see in weeks to come, scripture refers to numerous situations and relationships where submission is to take place~including Christ and His relationship to the Father!

So, take a deep breath~submission is not an ugly, terrible word that should create fear and controversy. Instead, it can be seen as “…a gift that we voluntarily give to the man we have vowed to love in obedience to the Savior we love…” (DeMoss’ quote of Susan Hunt, [The True Woman]).

I trust that next week we will begin to consider the roles God has designed for us and our families.

Go ahead and lower that red flag! 

Debbie 

Debbie